Karen Ann Ulmer, P.C.
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Overcoming the Stress of Divorce

Stress after divorce is to be expected. You're embarking on a new stage of your life, but things will be different socially, emotionally, and financially. Looking at the big picture can cause anxiety, but by allowing yourself time to adjust and by taking things one at a time, you can manage the stress and anxiety and come out stronger on the other end.

It's important, first of all, to allow yourself to feel many different emotions. Do not try to bottle them up. And give yourself time to perform at less than full capacity. You may be juggling new responsibilities, or the feelings themselves may be slowing you down. It's okay. Don't worry about what others may think of you, everyone has a different way of coping.

Don't go through this alone, though. It's important to have the strong social support of friends or family with whom you can share your feelings and who make you feel better. You may also need to reach out to a support group or professional counselor, especially one who is an expert in helping people adjust after divorce.

Keep yourself physically healthy. Exercise and a good diet improve your mental and emotional health. Get involved in activities you enjoy, indulge in hobbies to lift your spirits.

Positive self-talk is crucial. Don't blame yourself for past mistakes, real or imagined. Focus on a better future. Understand that you can't control everything, but you can control some things. Write down everything that worries you and brainstorm solutions. Friends may also have ideas. If there are some concrete things you can do to improve the situation, take one challenge at a time, and celebrate your progress.

Financial concerns can be a major stressor. If your spouse handled most of the finances, you'll need to learn how to do so now. A financial professional can help you make a budget and suggest ways to improve your financial situation. If necessary, look into further professional training in order to get a job that will bring in more money.

If you have children, you'll be understandably concerned about them. Give them extra attention and make sure they know they can rely on you. But they also need consistent routine and clear discipline, giving them structure and security during this insecure time.

After your divorce, things will be different, but they can still be good - maybe even better. By focusing on your emotional health, you will be able to cope better and also help your children cope. A good divorce lawyer should be able to refer you to appropriate support services. At Ulmer Law, we are committed to helping our clients not only get the best settlement but move beyond their divorce with the best possible future before them. Call us for a consultation.

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